She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
