i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I need a beard to bite.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
