doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
