If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize