I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
