ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
