do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
