No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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