I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
