god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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