$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
