Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
