You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
