Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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