I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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