remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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