she was so not down for the gang bang
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We talked him into tasing himself.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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