Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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