When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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