A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
