Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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