Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
