I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
