im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
