before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
NoShamevember. You game?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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