he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
