when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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