is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
