i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
3pm strippers are depressing
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
