i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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