I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
