drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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