nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
