she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
