ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
