My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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