i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
