I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
