he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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