He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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