It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
