i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
it glows. i had to have it.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
