For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize