shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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