just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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