My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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