Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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