so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
babies were throwing up all over the place
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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