so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i just made my gag reflex go away.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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