the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
