I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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