He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
